I went to my doctor's office the other day, only to find out my old doctor had retired, and his replacement was a new, young, female, drop-dead gorgeous blue-eyed blonde!
I guess she could tell, I was a little nervous, and perhaps appeared slightly embarrassed, so she said:
"Don't worry, I'm a professional, I've seen it all before. Just tell me what's wrong and I'll help you in any way I can."
So I said: "I think my penis tastes funny...".